when i hate nothing at all

Define your

Self.

Take self away from "we."

Find "I."

Breathe
and look at "I" straight in the eye.

Answer the question:
Where?
Is she there?

You probably won't find her.

She fell 70 feet deep and floated out into
the open sea.

Found hell
with head upturned
while she cried between earth and sky.

"We" swallowed her

whole.

Everybody's Free (to Wear Suncscreen)

by Baz Lurhmann

He happens to be born on the same date as I - Sept. 17; Baz directed Moulin Rouge which starred Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman, and Romeo + Juliet, starring Claire Danes.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists
whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…
I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, nevermind!
You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself
and recall in a way you can’t grasp now
how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….

You’re not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future;
or worry,
but know that worrying is as effective
as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind;
the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you.

Sing

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts,

don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…
the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…

what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either –
your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it,

it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own..

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,
but for the precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get,
the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard;
live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, politicians will philander,
you, too, will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble
and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you.
Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse;
but you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it.

Advice is a form of nostalgia,

dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off,

painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…

Sleeps with Butterflies (Tori Amos)

Airplanes
Take you away again
Are you flying
Above where we live
Then I look up a glare in my eyes
Are you having regrets about last night
I'm not but I like rivers that rush in
So then I dove in
Is there trouble ahead
For you the acrobat
I won't push you unless you have a net
You say the word
You know I will find you
Or if you need some timeI don't mind
I don't hold on
To the tail of your kite
I'm not like the girls that you've known
But I believe I'm worth coming home to
Kiss away night
This girl only sleeps with butterflies
With butterflies
So go on and fly then boy
Balloons
Look good from on the ground
I fear with pins and needles around
We may fall then stumble
Upon a carousel
It could take us anywhere

So go on and fly boy

Wild Horses (Sarah McLachlan)

Childhood living
is easy to do
The things you wanted
I brought them for you

Graceless lady
you know who I am
You know I can't let you
slide through my hands


Wild horses
couldn't drag me away
Wild, wild horses
couldn't drag me away

I watched you suffer
a dull, aching pain
Now you decided
to show me the same
no sweeping exits
or off-stage lines
Can make me feel bitter
or treat you unkind

I know I dreamed you
a sin and a lie
I have my freedom
but I don't have much time

Faith has been broken
tears must be cried
Let's do some living
after we die

Wild, wild horses
we'll ride them someday
Wild, wild horses
we'll ride them someday

----
Alicia sings this better than Sarah.

Ng nagmuni ako

ito pala ang ibig sabihin ng "my yoke.. your burden is light.."

Pag sobrang bigat
- tipong susuka ka na ng dugo sa bigat,
tipong ikamamatay mo na -

ibig sabihin, may mali. Baka,
baka lang naman,
hindi para sa 'yo
'yang pinapasan mo.

Pero kung kahit pasan-pasan mo na, magaan pa ring dalhin, 'yun na. Sa 'yo 'yun. Kasi magaan sa loob mong kargahin. At di lang bisig mo ang mahinusay na napapagod, pati puso't isipan.

Siguro si Kristo nu'ng pinili niyang mapako,
ganito kagaan yung pakiramdam nya.
Parang kaya mong lumipad sa gaan,
kahit na alam mong papatayin ka nila.
Kesa nga naman dun lang sya sa tabi ng Ama nya,
dala ang mas mabigat na tanong sa dibdib - "What if..?"

Iba iba ang pagpatay, ang pag kain sa 'yo ng buhay
ng milyon milyon mong saloobin -
nandyang kinakain ang lakas mo, pawis, luha,
dugo, saya,
nandyang nawawalan ka na ang oras at panahon mo
para sa kaibigan, ka ibigan, at pamilya -
marami, e.
May mapapabayaan ka talaga.
May isusuko ka talaga. Hindi pwedeng wala.

At wala, wala talagang hihintaying ginhawa,
kung hindi ang pag akap sa nakatakdang pasanin -
ang yakapin ang trabaho
at magpalamon ng buhay dito.

Gaya talaga nu'ng kay Kristo:
hamakin mong pangakuan ka ng Muling Pagkabuhay
if, and only if,
may magpapakamatay?

Kaya pala nasabi ni Marquez, "the unbearable lightness of being"

Kaya pala.

Rapunzel Unbraided (coming in 2009)

Why is it, mother, that you weigh so much more heavier than the prince?
-Rapunzel

from the Dahl-y telegraph

DID YOU YOU KNOW?

Roald Dahl always wrote his stories with a very particular type of pencil: the Dixon Ticonderoga 1388 2-5/10 medium, to be precise!

In Europe, people have been using pencils since the 1600s. If they made a mistake however, the best thing they could use was - get this! - a piece of bread! That’s not a sandwich we’d want to eat!

Then, in 1774, scientists became very excited about a new discovery called Caoutchouc (bless you!!). Some bright-spark suggested that a lump of the stuff was just what people needed to rub away words and marks made by pencils. After some trial and error, hey presto, the rubber was born, and there was no excuse for messy schoolwork ever again!

dali and poetry

"That sometimes I wonder
what will we all look up to
after we've reached the stars?"

-Jeanie Nieva, Wednesday









Galatea of the Spheres
by Salvador Dali

Segué

Many of you may perhaps be wondering why I am running for a seat in the Execom. She's already handling the Palladium. She's already been a lead editor. She wasn't in the Mooncake festival. She climbs walls. These are a few concerns which have cast doubt among the minds of my peers as to my capacity to serve.

I admit I am not an Execom favorite. I wasn't taught layout. I can't sing in programs. I rarely hang out in the office. But I am definitely not as apathetic or as incompetent or as irresponsible as gossip portrays me to be. No one can deny the drastic course the Palladium took under its change of leadership. It is a fruit of many talented individuals who share the same vision as mine. No one has been too self-righteous to deny the new Palladium praise. No one can deny that the captain of the Palladium's ship comes from the ALJ.

And yet, that is not my proudest work.

The June issue of the 50th volume might as well be a suicide attempt. The senior editors had hesitations on whether the junior editors will live up to what is expected of us. When I took on the position of lead editor, I am quite justified in saying that I am alone. I solicited articles alone. I was highly discouraged to appoint any associate lead editor. I had to witness some falling out and decide to not let these affect me. I had to push everything to the limit as early as March last year – myself, the authors, the Execom, the Board, the layout team, the budget – just so I can make real what I have dreamed the first issue would become. It surpassed my expectations. Find me someone in this Board who is not proud of and pleased with that precious June issue – the first of four books which is the timeline of this Board's relationship.

This is my first and last chance of serving the Journal in its Execom. Sure, I ditched a board meeting to spend time with my friends. Sure, I'll be handling Palladium simultaneously if elected, just as Toby Purisima handled the Forum and TJ Orosa handles the Veritas. But these aren't fodder for expected disappointment. They are glimpses of magis, indications of what I can do if entrusted with a position, if only given this chance. Expect big things out of me, and I will live up to it, only if you'll let me.

The two years I have served in the Journal may, as construed, count for the same as what our new editors have served. I am not disregarding their service, but neither am I going to allow what I have gone through be downplayed. To work under the tutelage of superiors who are in intense conflict did more than traumatize me. It taught me patience, respect for seniority, contemplation of personal relations, and most of all, initiative and independence, regardless of misconstruction. These have gone unnoticed, yet they count for something as they have shaped who I am now.

This candidacy is a renewal of my commitment and loyalty to the Journal. I have served it as a member and as a lead editor. Now, let me serve it as part of its Executive Committee. I'm on my last chance. Let me serve the Journal to the fullest.

For God's, not great, but greater glory.

This humble servant remains in waiting.

very, unfortunately, Filipino

"It's easy to make a constitution. The problem is in making it work."
- Fr. Bernas, SJ (Davide lecture)

I'm going to point fingers.

On the micro- (organizational), macro- (school-wide), and national levels, I have encountered colleagues who have decided to solve short term problems (personality clash, personality clash, and power hunger, respectively) by tinkering with the charter, the fundamental law in each level. If these people think that that's the best solution, time is going to prove them wrong. Culture is a function of activities which a group accords significance to. To tinker with the charter with the end in view of having particular persons disqualified to lead for a particular period presupposes that this will be recurring event, a regular happening, a constant, so to speak, in an equation otherwise born of tradition and experience.

The proposals will initiate disregard of seniority, and I am of the view that this kind of democracy is not the best way to assure political stability. It is the best way, however, of giving opportunities to candidates who are blinded and enticed by power and self-esteem rather than humbled by responsibility.

Ideas can't cry. They can't feel. But they are bulletproof.

V for Vendetta

Is this a glorification of terrorism?

Evey Hammon on V, "Are you like a crazy person?"

***

V: "People should not be afraid of their governments, governments should be afraid of their people."

***

Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. There is an idea, Mr. Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof.

I don't think so.

the wachowski brothers

V for Victory!

(I can't believe that its possible to have a full blood brother whom you can create screenplays with like these guys)

Hugzy the Owl

Hugzy atop a table in Cafe Sweet Inspirations, Katipunan Avenue, Valentines night
(he was with Mark and me)

transpo

"There are only a few valid grounds for which a vessel may arrive under stress."
- Atty. Palacios

(Thank God we're not merely vessels!)

sacred kinda scared

Blood is
very welcome when
expected, wanted even

So why was I
yearning that
it
wouldn't

(though it did)

come?

miss adventures

miss adventures

Sana Simple Pero Hindi

Sana Simple Pero Hindi

Aeon Flux on the significance of life and death

To give way to those who might live it better.

hehe new nerdiness-born fruit

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philippine_Trademark_Law

Recit Boo-boos

This is how recitation in law school sometimes goes...

Professor: So, where do you post this notice?
Student: Sir, in the post office!

* * *
Professor: Mr. A, what do you understand by “triennial cohabitation?” Any ideas?
Student: Sir, it’s three people living together! (Makes sense!)

* * *
Professor: What is 10% of 250 congressmen?
Student (with confidence): 32.7! (And the 0.70 congressman would be..?)

* * *
Professor: What do you waive in a mutual agreement of adultery?
Student: The right to sole possession of my husband, sir! (What else?)

* * *
Professor (picks a card off the deck and calls on…): Ms. K!
Student (Ms. K’s seatmate): Sir, she’s in the ladies room.
Professor: Mr. X, how do you know she’s in the ladies’ room?
Student (points to the empty seat beside him): Sir, she’s not here, therefore she’s there. (Where else could she legitimately be?)

* * *
Professor: Do you like Sinatra, Ms. A?
Student: Sir, not much.
Professor: Who is you favorite musical artist then?
Student: Sir, 2pac! (Professor gets a bit rattled upon hearing of such an entity. Ms. A senses this and adds…) Sir, uhh, sir, 50 cent! (That answer definitely closed the age gap.)

* * *
Professor: In the case of Magtajas v. Pryce, what kind of building are they building?
(Student gives a blank stare. Professor makes hand gestures in the air to illustrate a hotel.)
Student: Father, tall?!

* * *
Professor: Mr. J, what is the problem in the case of Ormoc Sugar?
Student: Sir, flash floods? (No, dear. Ormoc Sugar, not Ormoc per se!)

Lime loves Poplar

Mark's a poplar. Here's a black poplar tree native to Europe and southwest Asia. It is a large deciduous tree reaching 30-40 m tall. The leaves are diamond-shaped to triangular, 5-11 cm long, green on both surfaces.

Poplar Tree (Uncertainty) -- looks very decorative, talented,not very self-confident, extremely courageous ifnecessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, great artistic nature, good organizer,tends to lean toward philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.

I'm a lime tree

Lime trees - those whose birth dates fall on Sep 13 to Sep 22

Tilia is a genus of over 30 species. Generally called lime trees, they are large deciduous trees, reaching typically 20-40m tall, with oblique-cordate leaves 6-20cm across, and are found through the north temperate regions. The exact number of species is subject to considerable uncertainty, as many or most of the species will hybridise readily, both in the wild and in cultivation; the following list comprises those most widely accepted. (from wikipedia)

Lime Tree (Doubt) - intelligent, hard working, acceptswhat lifedishes out, but not before trying to change bad circumstancesinto good ones, hates fighting and stress, enjoysgetaway vacations, mayappear tough, but is actually soft and relenting,always willingto make sacrifices for family and friends, has many talents but not always enoughtime to use them, can become a complainer, greatleadershipqualities, is jealous at times but extremely loyal.

If you want to know what tree are you, I'll send you the tree test over email :)

battered

Tell me how it is
To be hearing these:
the silent bell jars of my mind
All crashing underneath
The deep black sea of my heart.
Tiny broken pieces
Made to hurt you and let you live
Away perhaps from me?
Dare I dare you to enter further
The crevices of this road christened "me"
Where you'll find weeping
My muse and a thousand blasphemy.
If you choose I set you free
Maybe, just maybe, they'll all come back to me

does he?

Daisy Chain (Cynthia Alexander)

must you seize my world by storm

have me dangle on a wind

weave a heady cloud on asilent string of pearls

must you seize my world by storm

must you wring my heartsong dry

on a tender recklessness to crown your moment

do you need somebody

do you need a someone

who will make your sunset last forever

who will daisy chain you in the summer

comfort in cynthia's strangeness

Aves initiated me to Cynthia Alexander's music, now so ingrained in me.

I think I've lost Aves.

The music's still with me.

missing stars in my sky

I miss laughing with him.

Now all I've lead him to is a further descent into my innermost hells.